A Revolutionary New 12‑Step Recovery Program
The classification of people belonging to Taxoholics Anonymous is 'suggested' to be addicts to OPM, Other Peoples Money, who require a mandatory 12-step program with attendance designed in the similar architecture of the original 12 step program by Bill W. and Dr. Bob in Akron OH in the 1930s.
Before that time, no alcoholics were able to contemplate stopping. Today, we have politicians and civil servants coast-to-coast who show zero restraint with Other Peoples Money. No one can say with a straight face that it's not the same problem. Like the original, We open with a preamble to the solution:
Taxoholics Anonymous Preamble (For Non-Fictional Public‑Office Spendthrifts Only)
Taxoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who have discovered, often too late, that unlimited access to Other People’s Money is not a personality trait but a chronic condition. Our members share one common problem: once entrusted with public funds, we tended to behave as though the supply was infinite, the consequences were theoretical, and the taxpayers were a distant rumour.
The only requirement for membership is a sincere desire to stop treating the public treasury like a bottomless trough. There are no dues or fees; already collected enough of those. We are self‑supporting through our own restraint, not through new levies, surtaxes, or “temporary” fees that mysteriously become permanent and turn into crippling to economies and households.
Taxoholics Anonymous is not allied with any political party, ideology, lobby, or consultant. We do not wish to engage in public quarrels, except the ones we start and almost never regret. Our primary purpose is to stay fiscally sober and help other public‑officeholders recover from the compulsive urge to spend, announce, consult, pilot, review, and “modernize” until nothing works and no one remembers.
Through honesty, accountability, and the radical act of reading the budget before approving it, we seek a return to civic sanity — one line item at a time.
And for those who insist there must be a secret extra step, a hidden shortcut, or a loophole that makes the whole process easier… We gently remind them: that’s exactly how they got here. Read to the end. And start over. (Whose making coffee?)
It's the FIRST Step that matters most, especially since there has never been a single politician or civil servant in human history that would ever ADMIT to being addicted to OPM: Other People's Money, and this is responsible for making Other People's Lives unmanageable.
SECOND step. Accepted that taxpayers are your Higher Power and you are going to stop grifting on OPM (Other Peoples Money).
THIRD step, came to believe that doing the right thing with OPM is politicians and civil servants minding Canadian citizens interests with Canadian taxpayers money and nobody else. Mind it equally without tax havens, and respect it under the law while respecting the rule of law, which includes respect for other peoples opinions and free speech and their money.
FOURTH step: Promise to undo the mayhem created with policies about energy, trade, and immigration, and the disasters leading to social collapse, poverty and calamity, food scarcity, hyper-inflation, and resource collapse.
STEP FIVE
Make a fearless moral inventory of every budget you padded, every “urgent” task force you invented to avoid real work, and every time you pretended a ribbon‑cutting was a policy achievement. If the list requires a three‑ring binder, congratulations — you’re being honest.
STEP SIX
Become entirely ready to have taxpayers remove your excuses, rationalizations, and the 400‑page briefing book you never opened. This is the step where you stop saying “complex file” and start saying “I didn’t bother.”
STEP SEVEN
Humbly ask the public to remove your sense of entitlement. This may involve listening without interrupting, a practice not seen in the wild since the late 1970s.
STEP EIGHT
Make a list of all the people you’ve harmed through dithering, posturing, or announcing pilot projects that never piloted anything. If the list includes “everyone,” you’re on the right track.
STEP NINE
Make direct amends wherever possible — preferably in person, without handlers, cameras, or a podium. If you feel the urge to turn it into a press conference, return to Step One and start over.
STEP TEN
Continue to take personal inventory, and when you relapse into jargon, buzzwords, or performative empathy, promptly admit it. A simple “I don’t know, let me find out” is the gold standard of propriety disinterest in the pockets of others.
STEP ELEVEN
Seek through reflection and basic common sense to improve your connection with the people who actually pay for everything you do. This includes learning the radical art of reading a budget line before approving it.
STEP TWELVE
Having had a civic awakening as the result of these steps, carry this message to other recovering office‑holders and practice these principles in all your public duties. If you feel tempted to relapse, remember: taxpayers have memories longer than your term limits.
And finally… the unofficial, whispered‑about, never‑acknowledged‑in‑public:
STEP THIRTEEN
Admit that you always suspected there was a secret extra step — and that you were hoping it would get you out of the first twelve. It won’t. But recognizing that impulse is the first sign you might be recovering.
by Mack McColl and Copilot For McColl Magazine Daily
