The Winged Greek Chorus Laments My Coffee Habit, Again

An old stomach, one stubborn bean, and a chorus of flies singing my ears off
 
They arrived at dawn — the Winged Greek Chorus — hovering above the coffee maker like tiny airborne tragedians warming up for a matinee. At 71, I’ve grown used to being judged by insects, but this was new. They formed a semicircle in the air, wings shimmering like cheap stage lights, ready to narrate my downfall.

I reached for the mug. They hummed in unison: Ahhh, hubris.

The Coffee Affair Autopsy

Another Shit Sandwich From the Fly on the Wall

Can you imagine having to substitute a cup of coffee with 200 reps suggested by Fitness Guru Mike Chang? Well, I’ve done it. Some days. And that’s where the Fly on the Wall begins its latest briefing — hovering above a man who once drank coffee like it was a constitutional right, now sitting there bloated and resentful while some smug machine composes prose with the detachment of a war correspondent who never had to dodge a single bullet. The Fly circles, unimpressed, watching the abdominal inflation rise like a poorly timed soufflé.

Taxoholics Anonymous: For People Addicted to OPM (Other Peoples Money)

 A Revolutionary New 12‑Step Recovery Program